First Great Western kicked my cat, and my cat was not happy. He was kicked so hard he resembled a magenta mouse! In a dazzling sleight of hand, FGW then Rebranded to Great Western Railway, GWR, and kicked my cat again! He turned a curious shade of blue-green! Apparently this unusual colour is known as “Distinguished Sage”! Like, whatever, Hopwood!
Nobody noticed the Rebrand taking place, so the Great Western Phoenix rose from the flames as a beautiful, new, customer-centric company! Not a broken toilet or overcrowded carriage in sight!
The Air Con Is On The Fritz.. Again!
We started the web site in late 2012, and were guaranteed working air conditioning in 2013! We were also guaranteed working air conditioning in 2014! There was still no sign of working air conditioning in 2015, and in 2016, it looks like GWR have given up on working air conditioning! Back to the same old excuses! You’ll see a common pattern! It’s a little bit embarrassing, is it not, Mister Hopwood and Mister Mellors?
On 1st April 2016, GWR celebrates 10 years of exclusive running of the Great Western rail franchise! It will probably take 10 years for us to find something worth celebrating!
Jam tomorrow, #teamhipflask! How many more years do they need?
Here’s today’s status:
Hello to you, Mister Mark "Horatio" Hopwood, Mister Ben Rule, Mister Andy Mellors, Mister Ben Caswell, Ms Sue Evans, Mister Matthew Golton, Ms Diane Burke, and Ms Sharon Johnston. We hope you browse the site and find something of interest! You can Rebrand, but it doesn’t change the past!
Life lessons: 1) don't cut your own fringe 2) don't eat yellow snow 3) don't rely on First Great Western
— Polly Katherine (@pollykatherine5) April 30, 2016
— (((Mark Setrem))) (@ukmoose) May 6, 2016
— Crap GWR (@Crap_GWR) May 6, 2016
Anything important I need to get to I have to allow at least an hour extra fuckery time when using @GWRHelp beyond a joke.
— Luminousbeige (@LuminousBeige) May 6, 2016
— Ian (@Ranger55821) May 8, 2016
— GWR Kicked My Cat! (@teamhipflask) May 8, 2016
@GWRHelp Is it true that your thames valley timetable is nominated for the Booker Prize?
— Rochdale Cowboy (@Rochdale_Cowboy) May 11, 2016
— Stefan Paetow MCIJ (@stefanpaetow) May 11, 2016
— kate smith (@SmitKate) May 12, 2016
— Bill (@Sospirando) May 12, 2016
— Elena B (@El_dreamy) May 12, 2016
— GWR Kicked My Cat! (@teamhipflask) May 12, 2016
— GWR Kicked My Cat! (@teamhipflask) May 13, 2016
Broken air con always guaranteed on @GWRUK. Freezing cold Cardiff to Reading. Boiling hot with no windows Reading to Dorking.
— Globbits (@Globbits_) May 15, 2016
@GWRHelp air conditioning not working on 6.53 TWY to PAD, woman has just fainted
— Happy commuter (@anothercommuter) May 16, 2016
— Steve Blair (@Savethebuffet) May 16, 2016
— Paul (@Dogtrouser) May 18, 2016
For anyone considering sleeper train to London – don't. Caught it twice this year, broken down both times. @GWRUK is an utter shambles.
— Oliver Berry (@olivertomberry) May 20, 2016
— Shaun Preece (@shaunpreece) May 21, 2016
— James Le Roth (@jcleroth) May 21, 2016
@GWRHelp Rather than messing around rebranding, wouldn't it have been better investing in trains that worked?
— Neil (@Sonning_Neil) May 24, 2016
Sat on a stuck @GWRHelp train because the service ahead had broken down. This happens far,far too often
— Swampy (@swampy990) May 24, 2016
@GWRHelp ever thought of actually maintaining any of your trains?
— LateWorstenFailway (@SimonHogfress) May 24, 2016
— Paul (@Dogtrouser) May 24, 2016
— Emory Garrett (@Emory_Garrett) May 27, 2016
Over the moon at only being 20 minutes delayed on this morning's @GWRUK service. Previous experience had me expecting much worse.
— Tom Turner (@tomturneruk) May 28, 2016
— Alan Crosby (@alancrosbyuk) May 28, 2016
— Dilapidated Boat (@joshyeh) May 28, 2016
@GWRHelp Awful service from Padd 12:05 train rammed and one lady has just passed out. If there was an accident or fire we'd have no chance.
— Juliet Binns (@JulietBinns) May 31, 2016
— Alan Crosby (@alancrosbyuk) May 31, 2016
Impeccable timing of @GWRUK on train survey tonight. Collected up before the train broke down and we all had to get off…
— Justine H (@SeatInTheStalls) May 31, 2016
@GWRUK why is it that EVERY time I travel with you – peak or off peak – I'm standing on a cramped train for the entire journey?
— Natasha Marsh (@N4T4SH4sSP4CE) June 5, 2016
The sauna broke at your gym? I can highly recommend the @GWRUK Paddington to Cardiff train service. And it only costs £221.50 for two hours.
— Mike Bubbins (@MikeBubbins) June 6, 2016
@GWRHelp looks like you still haven't fixed the aircon that was broken last summer, or the summer before that, and the summer before that.
— Mr Pavl (@mr_pavl) June 7, 2016
— Sophia Swain (@SophiaIsabella) June 7, 2016
So hot on this crappy @GWRUK 8.11 to Paddington we've just had a verbal altercation between several guys who are dying of heat exhaustion
— Sophia Swain (@SophiaIsabella) June 8, 2016
The ramifications of you cancelling one service means the next one is so packed that commuters actually want to get off for safety @GWRHelp
— Zammo (@Zammathon) June 8, 2016
@GWRHelp it's irrelevant whether it's the first or last you CANNOT treat fare paying people like cattle end of !!
— janette evans (@janfootball) June 9, 2016
— Ollie Davis (@oliver_davis) June 9, 2016
— Kevin James (@atomicvindaloo) June 10, 2016
— Alan Crosby (@alancrosbyuk) June 10, 2016
— Alan Crosby (@alancrosbyuk) June 10, 2016
Assumed @GWRHelp were handing out bottles of water because of warm weather. Turns out it's for passengers to put fires out on their trains!
— Rochdale Cowboy (@Rochdale_Cowboy) June 10, 2016
— Simon Gillespie (@SimonGillespie8) June 10, 2016
@GWRHelp don't worry 25 days in a row using your trains and 25 days in a row not had one journey arrive on time
— Lee Stewart (@ls_1983) June 17, 2016
@GWRHelp Cherry on the cake or rather sweet corn on the turd… broken doors…. then there's the doors 90 seconds early announcements!
— Ungoogleable (@all_sweetness) June 20, 2016
— BrownE (@BrownELJ) June 21, 2016
— Crispin Veall (@crispibits) June 21, 2016
@GWRHelp any chance the 00:34 pad to reading could be sent on time? 13 nights running delayed or cancelled. Ridiculous.
— Danny King (@dannyMFCking) June 21, 2016
— Warren Geraghty (@wazza5) June 22, 2016
@GWRHelp you make my commute unbearable. To be late every single morning and evening what sort of incompetent company are you.
— SB (@SophieVictoria0) June 23, 2016
10:28 train from Swansea to London Paddington, and there's rainwater streaming in from the top of the window. Nice. @GWRUK
— Shane Kinsey (@Kingsforever89) June 29, 2016
— Leigh Baker (@LeighFenners) June 30, 2016
— POLPO Restaurants (@Polpo) July 4, 2016
@gwrhelp rainwater pouring down walls inside train… Electric lighting… Metal walls… Hmmmmm…
— Illustrated Pamphlet (@Rickenhacker) July 12, 2016
@GWRHelp only 2 carriages bristol>yate at 10pm 16/7/16. So packed that the heat made a man collapse & have an ambulance called. You're shit!
— Tom (@Tstretton96) July 17, 2016
@GWRUK why are your trains always broken??
— rolie polie olie (@olivuuuur) July 18, 2016
— zoe stavrou (@zoestavs) July 18, 2016
@gwrhelp no air con, a bottle of warm water as compensation. 45 mins late. Waiting for a 'crew member', no wifi. You're pretty rubbish
— Paul Marshall (@Nhoodmonkey) July 18, 2016
— GWR Kicked My Cat! (@teamhipflask) July 18, 2016
— Richard Turner (@richj_t) July 18, 2016
— Steven Baker (@bakerssssss) July 19, 2016
@GWRHelp I am sitting on a train at Paddington, delayed as usual with no aircon how is it possible every single summer we have this mess.
— Roger gardner (@Rogerga51372785) July 19, 2016
— Alan Crosby (@alancrosbyuk) July 24, 2016
— Lee Stewart (@ls_1983) July 24, 2016
@GWRHelp Ticket Inspectors at Ealing didn't seem too happy when I asked them where their punctual service was when they asked for my ticket.
— Young Commuter (@YoungCommuter) July 22, 2016
— Dontlabelme (@TauhidAli4) August 10, 2016
— GWR Commuter (@fgwcommute) August 11, 2016
It's fine to prioritise profits, @GWRUK, but be more upfront about it. Maybe a new slogan? 'Everyone can get on (but not necessarily off)'?
— Huw Davies (@thehuwdavies) August 12, 2016
— GWR Kicked My Cat! (@teamhipflask) August 16, 2016
@GWRHelp 18:33 broke down last night. Delays this morning. Always a pleasure to travel on GWR
— DAMNUGWR (@damnuGWR) August 17, 2016
First work meeting I attend in five months and @GWRHelp makes me late for it. Stuck behind 2 broken trains and 3 others. Nothing changes.
— Charlotte Sjöberg (@1981CSS) August 17, 2016
@GWRHelp great quote from train manager over the tannoy "trains are always late this time of day" !!! Can I recommend you don't say that ??
— Binu Mohan (@gamermohan) August 18, 2016
To absolutely no-one's surprise, @GWRHelp's re-branding turns out to be the marketing equivalent of sprinkling some glitter on a giant turd.
— ZM (@_bandwagonesque) August 18, 2016
— Rochdale Cowboy (@Rochdale_Cowboy) August 18, 2016
— Andrew Savill (@Andrew_Savill) August 19, 2016
Nice @GWRUK announcement. "Passengers with no seats, we did not force you on this service. If you don't like standing, get off at Reading."
— Andy Welch (@andywelch81) August 19, 2016
Another day, another morning cancellation due to a 'train fault'. In every respect the first group companies are quite appalling. @GWRUK
— Aaron (@ImpactCollide) August 20, 2016
@GWRHelp these trains are like stepping into a bloody sauna. Something needs to be done. This is ridiculous.
— Deepi Kaur (@Deepi_K) August 24, 2016
— shelleykeen (@shelleykeen) August 25, 2016
— Alex Thomas (@AlThomas1989) August 25, 2016
@GWRHelp hi Great Western! Quick question ❓ why are you such a shambles?
— Edward Bayliss (@ebay81) August 26, 2016
Please go easy on my cat. And the customers!
What you can do to help
If you agree with any of the points raised on the site by fare-paying world-weary customers, then please:
- Complain direct to FGW, GWR, or what ever their name is this month, at [email protected], although you won’t receive a reply within the stated 5 days (there’s a constant backlog of 2-3 weeks!).
- Tag your tweets with #gwr and we’ll find them!
- Retweet tweets on the website, reply to keep the conversation going, or let @GWRHelp know
- Drop us tweet or an e-mail with photos
- Try not to be subverted by the @GWRHelp Twitter Public Relations Machine! Free Pasties will only buy so much Patience!
- Link through to the website and spread the word!
Unless customers complain, Horatio Hopwood and his horde of harpies will remain oblivious to issues or continue to bury their heads in the sand! The Office for Rail Regulation may not recognise social media as a valid source of complaints, but we do! When the Social Media team eventually blocks you, carry on making complaints to [email protected]!
— Alex Duce (@slugdaddy) October 9, 2013
You’re spot on, Alex! Just keep swimming!
xx Cat and Co.