Funny But True

@rchrisp @GWRHelp @YoungCommuter "Rail replacement pedestrian service". For those times when it'd've been quicker to walk.

— Alan Crosby (@alancrosbyuk) November 2, 2015

@GWRHelp : Delays of (10/20/30/40/50/90) mins due to (signal failure/broken down train/driver apathy/ninjas) at (Slough/Ealing/Southall)

— Alan Crosby (@alancrosbyuk) November 9, 2015

@GWRHelp what's the difference between a gwr train and a tortoise. Answer at least a tortoise gets there in the end.

— Paul M (@prjmorris) November 10, 2015

@GWRUK – luckily someone had a sense of humour about the seating situation to reading …… pic.twitter.com/UvmL7SlMty

— Med Rogers (@med_tiger) November 10, 2015

Is #GWR's #PassengerCharter a contender for #BookerPrize for fiction? It doesn't reflect reality on @GWRHelp's 1552 PAD:WOS #SardineExpress

— Charles Field (@charles_uk) November 11, 2015

If I was PM, I'd make @GWRUK refer to trains as 'disappointments'. "The next train at Platform 1 is the 07.25 disappointment to Newport…"

— Dave (@Davethequiz) November 12, 2015

Wow! Today's train ticket has invited me to travel back in time! #AddedValue @teamhipflask pic.twitter.com/v6e537nqhC

— Melanie Philpott (@SmellyFlipFlop) November 12, 2015

https://twitter.com/scovers123/status/665263924028317696

Rail around the world… @teamhipflask @PaulBigland1 #fgw pic.twitter.com/L6yVg0JmLC

— John Crocker (@john_crocker) November 17, 2015

@GWRHelp For your next meeting put 59 people in tiny meeting room with 8 chairs – start meet 20 mins late – repeat twice a day for a year

— Stephen Harwood (@harwoodstephen) November 17, 2015

@GWRHelp Wow, your 05.12am is 12 minutes early!!! The secret must be to travel at this UNGODLY hour.

— Pablo Perez (@PabPerez2014) November 19, 2015

I contemplated waiting for the 0715 instead of getting the 0705 but plumped for the "earlier train". Leaving RDG at 0713. #gwr

— Commute Club (@CommuteClub) November 20, 2015

And when @GWRUK says a train is 'full', it does, of course, mean there's no room for even a skeleton to stand.

— Mark Kerrison (@veripix) November 21, 2015

@GWRHelp how much of your £12m rebrand was set aside for improving your service? Or was it all for the 3 for 2 offer in B&Q for green paint?

— Craig Rees (@craggy2593) November 22, 2015

This is an accurate scale sticker for the size of the WiFi coverage in a @GWRHelp carriage. pic.twitter.com/0IQ88VlLZl

— Gareth Rutter (@GaReth_Rutter) November 23, 2015

22.07 #GWR #FGW Slough service looks even more basic than usual pic.twitter.com/LooSAg8itp

— Gary Nuttall (@gpn01) November 30, 2015

@NicholasGreeny @GWRHelp they are currently running simulations to see what improvements can be made. pic.twitter.com/9OPXh89Ofp

— Joe Parrilla (@JoeParrilla) December 4, 2015

Amazing timing. @GWRUK survey came round. First box I looked for @teamhipflask pic.twitter.com/FEyWTcBmi2

— Chris (@aeonzs) December 4, 2015

@teamhipflask @GWRHelp @slugdaddy legend has it if you put all the faulty stock together end to end, it reaches to at least Swansea

— 2 for flinching (@CBealphotog) December 7, 2015

@teamhipflask someone must have been peeved with their expensive no seat ticket lol pic.twitter.com/Z6KlLRH02Z

— Brent Edwards (@mediamazter) December 13, 2015

Space travel seems more reliable and less expensive the train travel on @GWRUK

— Simon (@snorman42) December 15, 2015

Someone got this spot on for the @GWRHelp 0759 Maidenhead-Padd…or is this an official sign of the future? pic.twitter.com/gfpcOy7Thz

— Andrew Y (@buchanyui) December 16, 2015

May as well walk, it's often faster… Nice one @GWRUK #teamhipflask pic.twitter.com/FWSfi1Yu6Q

— james abraham (@_jamesabraham) December 16, 2015

It’s as if First Great Western/GWR spent years developing a wifi service so bad that it would be sufficiently ‘on-brand’.

— Chris Monk (@ChrisMonk) December 18, 2015

Hi @FGW, for the 20.30 London top Exeter service you appear to have accidentally replaced Coach E with a fridge

— Dan Lucas (@DanLucas86) December 19, 2015

@GWRHelp love the irony – we are pony pic.twitter.com/Xm4yt5svzi

— Kevin Flynn (@Southstokenews) December 24, 2015

Congrats @GWRHelp on running a "good" service today. Guess it's easier to keep on time when there's no service. pic.twitter.com/NuVXZohLY0

— wl (@wl_l2) December 26, 2015

Overcrowded train, inspector asks customers to 'wave your tickets in the air like you just don't care'. No one does. @teamhipflask @GWRHelp

— Michael Parker (@michaelparker) January 14, 2016

@GWRHelp standard class should be renamed standing class.

— Peter Gonnella (@gonnella) January 14, 2016

@GWRUK made me laugh BoA ticket office closed @thisisdueto 'staff locked themselves out' at least the machine is fixed at long last #comedy

— We Apologise For… (@thisisdueto) January 15, 2016

Just did over 10,000 steps around Reading station in the hour I had to wait because @GWRHelp can't run a train service to save their lives

— Matthew Spencer (@matthewspencer9) January 19, 2016

@GWRHelp your trains are always running late, it would literally be faster to segway into central london

— Zaib (@zaibun_nisa) January 20, 2016

My nose is running faster than your trains. @FGW @GWRUK

— Lee Evans (@FollowTheLeedr) January 22, 2016