Funny But True

If our trains aren't frequent, regular and cheap, then at least our apologies are.

— Worst Late Western (@worstlatewstrn) November 12, 2012

First Great Western are executing their new "tautological train cancellation strategy". pic.twitter.com/P4VNSptv

— Mark (@smarterthanrice) December 3, 2012

I'm going to buy first great western a watch for christmas because whether it's train or bus they are always so late

— cecily (@cecily_watson) December 3, 2012

@chivoir @FGW measure 'adhesion' by throwing a handful of BS into a fan and seeing how long it adheres to the faces of their customers.

— PersuadeMeTo (@PersuadeMeTo) November 1, 2012

http://twitter.com/arsenesmagichat/status/288923189449465856

… and from Private Eye

Yep this sums up FGW trains. pic.twitter.com/d82arLND

— Heather (@heathermagazine) December 15, 2012

#fgwmovies Count Draculate @fgw

— Rich (@recklessrik) June 13, 2013

Les Misérables commute #fgwmovies @fgw

— Commuting Rants (@CommutingRants) June 13, 2013

I wonder how First Great Western would react to my "Ticket Replacement Service "

— ¡Charlie! (@david0akes) March 24, 2013

@fgwkmc RT@TimandraHarknes Rail passenger comfort sacrificed to speed of boarding http://t.co/hlpkXrWAvz

— Liam (@eldboydo) June 12, 2013

“@TheCommuterHub: Quote for this picture… pic.twitter.com/50yhEo5zAj” @fgw announce 'bring your own seat' scheme. Discount offered if you do.

— Commuting Rants (@CommutingRants) June 11, 2013

Tourette's on the increase on @fgw the condition tends to be most common on a Monday morning around 8.

— n z hendo (@MRBROADCAST1) June 10, 2013

First Great Western Timetable – file under "Fiction".

— Don Constance (@snaprails) March 3, 2013

Travel @FGW and for £32 you can experience a dirty, beer can and litter covered carriage. Staff not giving a damn as standard! #disgusting

— James (@KingJimmo) March 8, 2013

@fgw #speedy pic.twitter.com/8ZulCwqjzM

— Lucy Guy (@_lucyguy) May 29, 2013

The screens you find in some @FGW carriages now include a stress relief button. I assume if you press it @FGW hand over their franchise.

— Ian Thorn (@ianlthorn) June 6, 2013

As I grind ever closer to the inevitability of a #fgw train ride, the heart sinks lower. What calamity today I wonder? Sun has warped rails?

— Paul Ayres (@paulwayres) June 4, 2013

I bet if a baby was born on a #fgw train it would have been charged for fare dodging http://t.co/gcOGMP7f9x

— Luke Smith (@lukesmith) March 7, 2013

http://twitter.com/aeonzs/status/341453794103664640

@FGW Trains on time = you won a prize, please provide an address thanks #fgw #firstlatewestern #givingsomethingback pic.twitter.com/XqQEEPWzwE

— James Lee (@PuddlesJae) June 21, 2013

@FGW me and another bloke decided a piggyback to London would be faster due to delays, I'm currently carrying him down the M4, def faster.

— Nash Problems (@cnashproblems) May 30, 2013

Would like to thank FGW for providing my train with a driver. Oh, you haven't. Can I drive instead, how hard can it be? Go. Stop. That's it!

— Rolf Rumley (@OfficialFLTLR) May 21, 2013

@PlashingVole First Great Western also does beers and spirits as I hear every morning. Maybe sedated passengers won't notice delays.

— Sarah M (@petit_morsel) May 16, 2013

Due to an earlier incident, delays and cancellations are likely occur on all routes until at least 2016. As measured by calendar not clock

— Worst Late Western (@worstlatewstrn) March 26, 2013