Funny But True

Here we look at some of your funnier tweets! Oh, you are awful!

First Great Western are executing their new "tautological train cancellation strategy". pic.twitter.com/P4VNSptv

— Mark (@smarterthanrice) December 3, 2012

#FGW saying they'll be operating a normal service tomorrow is worrying; their normal level of service is shite.

— David Marshall (@JustOneFollower) January 20, 2013

http://twitter.com/grealis/status/286886455568130048

I could have bet money on my train being delayed this morning. But I didn't have any money left after the price rises #fgw

— Luke Smith (@lukesmith) January 2, 2013

You can land a plane with one engine but #fgw can't keep a train moving with one!

— Alan Garnet (@agarnet30) September 29, 2012

"This train is shit" observes young schoolboy. Well thanks to @fgw he's learnt something today

— Phil Bryer (@philbryer) December 19, 2012

The driver of this First Great Western train said to report anything suspicious. I got a seat. Does that count?

— Matt Whitby (@mattwhitby) December 18, 2012

With the repeated catastrophic signal failures at Hayes: @FGW & @networkrail will be bringing in the team from @DIYSOS to sort it out.

— Last Worst Western (@LastWorstWestrn) December 20, 2012

#FGW out of Paddington news: train accelerating as passengers get out to push. ETA in Reading before the summer solstice.

— Kevin Harrington (@k_harrington) December 21, 2012

@FGW @networkrail did santa not bring you train sets you could practice on. #lateagain, #couldntorganisepissupinbrewery #fgw #notsurprised

— stevo (@SteveyWood) December 27, 2012

@FGW @laneylost Except at weekends, when they're replaced with busses. Not that our parent company runs busses too. Completely unrelated.

— Worst Late Western (@worstlatewstrn) December 4, 2012

if @fgw's trains arent cheap & frequent enough, then at least you can be sure that their apologies for the delays are

— Rahim™ (@rahim94) November 27, 2012

@naughtytrains @fgw Our price rises reflect the fact that you're on board our trains for longer. Whether you want to be or not…

— Worst Late Western (@worstlatewstrn) January 2, 2013

@fgwkmc RT"@MrJoeClarke: New trains for #fgw? pic.twitter.com/4IwfHiRWsY"

— Liam (@eldboydo) July 8, 2013

First Great Western trains are running up to 54 minutes late. A welcome improvement on their usual level of service. #fgw #ftw

— David Marshall (@JustOneFollower) October 28, 2013

“@FGW: Due to technical difficulties the 20:00 update has been postponed until 22:00 on our website… Lol! Even the updates are late !

— Gail Lawrence (@lawrence_gail) October 27, 2013

I think we should start a petition for @FGW to be renamed to #LS2 (Low speed 2) and make sure they NEVER get the franchise again!

— Elena (@El_dreamy) October 21, 2013

Report out today reveals highest paid man @FGW is the voiceover artist who records the line "First Great Western Apologies For This Delay".

— Moj Taylor (@mojtaylor) June 27, 2013

A toilet on this @fgw train has a working tap, a working soap dispenser (full) AND a handtowel (clean). What time's the Lottery draw?

— Graham Craig (@baragouiner) July 3, 2013

@fgwkmc It's the commuters fault. There's too many people on the trains making them too heavy to run on time. You heard it here first.

— Matt Dixon (@the_bald_man) July 26, 2013

@naughtytrains @FGW Just the other day we were passed by two snails and a slow worm.

— Swiss (@Swiss_uk) June 25, 2013

#fgw John Wayne will be turning in his grave at the poor state of this western!

— n z hendo (@MRBROADCAST1) July 26, 2013

Seriously @fgw should just be honest in their marketing and change their name to Sorry.

— RubyMalvolio (@RubyMalvolio) July 24, 2013

@rcarca @FGW 1. Kill passengers by suffocation (turn on heating as appropriate) 2. Fewer passengers next summer, no need for air con. 3. £££

— Ian O'Donnell (@Plundermot) July 23, 2013

A whole generation of kids is going to grow up thinking 'First Great Western apologises…' is one word #fgw

— Stuart Dunn (@StuartDunnCeRch) December 20, 2012

"Fares rising 3 times faster than wages" the gutter press claim. Well, not our wages, which are paid for by your fares. Kerr-ching!

— Worst Late Western (@worstlatewstrn) December 11, 2012

Saw this today and thought of all my hellish journeys with @fgw. Enjoyable… Ha! pic.twitter.com/WVOH2Fk3

— Tom Rowan (@tomrowan) December 2, 2012

@FGW @paulswaddle Don't forget that our trains can be up to 10 mins late before we count them as late. It's called the "on time allowance"

— Worst Late Western (@worstlatewstrn) December 12, 2012

@markaugustyn @FGW And the 'First' too. Leaving it at Western.

— David Massey (@da_masse) December 11, 2012

@FGW Thanks for the apology. It more than makes up for hundreds of late trains and the general ball ache you have caused in my life.

— Dan Hitchcock (@DanHitchcock64) December 15, 2012

My cat's arse gives better customer service than First Great Western

— Chloe (@MagicMolko) November 21, 2012

@NetworkRailPAD @fgw how about skipping the half arsed cleaning and just get the trains running on time?

— naughtytrains.org (@naughtytrains) November 30, 2012

@FGW even when your train described as 'on time' it's still late.

— Oliver Haenlein (@Oliveroxuk) November 8, 2012

@FGW @rochdale_cowboy Management bonuses and shareholder dividends don't fund themselves you know. Pay up and be grateful, sardine

— Worst Late Western (@worstlatewstrn) October 26, 2012